Nature and the city
Every day, on phones around the world people play 200 million minutes of Angry Birds. 200 million minutes a day! That’s over 1.2 billion hours every year on a game about exploding birdies and greedy piggies.
Is there nothing better that they could be doing with their time?
Is all the kids’ homework done? Rooms clean? Teeth brushed?
Are all the dinners prepared? All the sonnets, novels and articles written?
This is something else. This is more visceral. More… basic. What this says to me is that people are desperate. People are craving a return to their pre-historic roots. Where we foraged for food in the forests, living by our wits, eating what we could hunt. Sure, cavemen could have benefited from some exploding birds to lob at the on-coming Mastodons, but they seem to have made do with sticks and stones. And the odd corn crop.
No, people need animals in their lives. There is obviously a missing link in our city based existence. Where the only wildlife we see, are scurrying under the fridge at 2 in the morning when we need to get a glass of water. Humans need to connect with animals. And how do we connect? By lobbing Angry Birds at Petulant Pigs as a last ditch effort to gain a little animal attention in our otherwise sterile existence.
And despite what over 63 million people think, FarmVille is NOT the answer. For goodness sake. That’s like saying that the SIMs should have been good enough for Angelina and Brad.
But I was not falling for that. No city-scape, glass and stainless steel existence for my family. We were going to do it right. Real. An actual animal and not some downloaded, animated, suicide tweeter.
So we got a puppy.
The kids were overjoyed.
A beautiful new ’oodle has entered our lives and our hearts. If you’re not familiar with ‘oodles, let me walk you through it. In our neck of the woods (and I use that term loosely), we’re go for friendly dogs. Kid dogs. People dogs. And that is where the ‘oodle steps in.
It’s a cross between something cute, with something friendly, and mix in a bit of non-allergenic. The miniature poodle was the answer. Just take one of these, mix in a bit of Maltese, or Shitzu, Labrador or Cavalier, and you’ve got yourself a Westfield Winner. Loves kids, likes to play and most importantly, looks so cute you just want to mush your face into it’s sneeze-free fur and snuggle snuggle snuggle. Right ?
The kids went ballistic: “I’ll walk him!”
“I’ll take care of him!”
“I’ll clean up after him!”
“I’ll sling-shot him into the greedy pigs hiding under the teetering like of wood”
But reality soon kicks in. The kids are at school. We both work. Poor little Puppy now sits at home. Alone. All alone, all day long.
And he’s not you’re average cute puppy. He’s super-cute. In the Puppy Looks, he puts buttons to shame. (You get that, right? “Cute as a button”?)
But how sad is that, all alone all day. The answer? Lock him in a cage for the whole day, like this puppy;
Then someone sent me this video and I got to thinking. Would it be such a good idea to bring a puppy to work?
Let’s face it, puppies are good for humans. They make you a nicer person. They lower stress levels. They help fight allergies and they can help you get a date. No, seriously. Puppy = Chick magnet!
Not like cats. Cats make bitter people, even more bitter. Cats don’t have owners, they have assistants. Cats are worse than pigs. Quick, throw an exploding bird at it!
But puppies? Joyous bundles of fun and love that just want to please you and sit at your feet and worship you. But at work…? I have a feeling that he wouldn’t just sit at my feet and keep my toes warm. He’d be out sniffing everything and everyone. Leaving little “messages” on all the table legs. And at meetings? If we all brought our dogs to a meeting room it would be a total sniffing session.
I guess I’ll just leave him at home. And maybe get another one. That way, they can be alone, together. Planning the destruction of the kitten next door.