The Power of Rapport
Filed under: communication, customers, NLP, relationships, teams, thinking, trust
Have you ever instantly clicked with someone you didn’t know and felt like you had known him or her for years? Have you ever been in a team meeting where there was a smooth flow of communication and ideas? Have you ever continued to think about what someone said and acted on those words and thoughts?
These are all indicators of great rapport. When you have built rapport anything seems possible. Decisions and changes occur faster, communication flows more freely and openly, and there is a sense of trust, familiarity and connectedness with the other person. Your words become their thoughts and vice versa.
In contrast, have you ever been in a meeting where the other person was engaged in their own inner dialog and not paying attention to you. Did you notice that the conversation became choppy and perhaps you even had an uncomfortable feeling? These are indicators of lost rapport.
Rapport occurs naturally between individuals and can be built or lost in any moment. Recognising when you have built or lost rapport gives you awareness of how to use it effectively.
Neuro-linguistic programming gives you the techniques to build rapport, which should always be done with integrity to achieve ‘win win’ outcomes for all parties.
So how might you build rapport? Building blocks for achieving rapport include assuming you already have rapport with someone and becoming more similar to the other person. People who are similar tend to like each other.
One way of achieving this is by matching the other person’s posture, facial expression, breathing, voice tone, tempo and pitch. This technique is not about mimicking the other person but gradually adopting their behaviour, respectfully entering their world and understanding what it would be like to be them in that moment.
In the beginning, choose an unimportant event like a casual meeting with a work colleague and deliberately look for ways to match the other person. After a few minutes of flowing conversation, mismatch them by changing your voice and notice what impact this has on the quality of your conversation.
Building rapport can also be achieved through mirroring and pacing, which are described in NLP The New Technology of Achievement.
After practising the rapport building technique for a while, you will find it will become more automatic and unconscious and you will start to notice how powerful these skills can be in enhancing and growing your personal and professional relationships.
How do you build rapport in your relationships?
Thanks for the reminder Deborah of the power of building rapport and how important it is to have great rapport in our relationships especially business.
Often we skip over the basics in communication and get on to the ‘getting down to business’ before establishing the rapport which can make the outcomes we wish to achieve even harder from the start.
Rapport is vital. I worked as a waiter for just on 10 years and it was my job to build rapport with the dining customers to ensure their night was enjoyable. This was very rewarding knowing at the end of the night they had a great time. Sometimes I think customer service lacks rapport these days. It’s more a numbers game. Next please, next please and so it goes. I recently went of a course on Customer Interactions funded by Telstra and the majority of the course aimed at building customer repport. While I think I’m quite good at customer rapport it’s great to get a refresher. I also think TEX is building rapport to the staff, customers and non customers of Telstra. Well done.
Thanks Larry for your comments. So true, building rapport is vital in any role even if you are not in a customer facing role.
Totally agree Deborah, rapport is ensuring all the delicate strands of a spider web are in place. It allows for really robust conversations that challenge a team and individuals encouraging them to step up to the next level.
Interesting blog, Deborah.
After working in a Telstra Store for three years, I have learnt that a great way to develop rapport quickly is to identify a common interest.
That way, I can have a personal conversation with a customer which allows me to built trust. I can then segue the conversation towards focusing on the customer’s business interest, which can often then be linked backed to the customer’s personal interests.
Thanks Chris, identifying a common interest is an excellent way of establishing rapport and entering the customer’s world. Using the customer’s language will also help build rapport and trust quickly – for example, if they say Telstra blog, you say Telstra blog.
It’s a pity that Telstra doesn’t sit up and take notice of what it is preaching …
Rapport – it’s like communication. An interaction between two or more people. It is great when it works, but can be horrific if it doesn’t happen.
Like good communication, rapport can be affected by internal and external factors. Some of these can be characteristics of those involved, as much as noise, and things that can reduce the effects of the communication to a point that causes disharmony and thus the rapport, or communication doesn’t happen.
I’ve just received another monthly account from Telstra, where an item that, last month, I had spoken to Billing about, and they had agreed to waiver, has this month been shown as overdue and outstanding.
Obviously the communication was garbled last moth and this has brought about a non-rapport situation.
Another instance of breakdown in communication is the telephone answering, voice-interactive, service that Telstra uses.
It’s great, in theory, but unfortunately if you have a weird accent, or if you have a cold, or you are particularly angry, the voice system cannot understand what you are saying.
This does not breed a sense of rapport, and by the time the system has pissed you off, and passed you to a real person, customers are not interested in generating rapport with Telstra, they just want their problem fixed.
It would be great, if Telstra simply hired more “real” people to answer the phones, rather than use “clever” technology that really doesn’t work like it is intended to.
Rapport is a great thing and all employees should be aware of its power, but when is Telstra going to empower their customer service to actually do something?
They’re all really polite while they tell you that its not their fault and they can’t do anything to help – except to refer you to yet another 1800 number!
What’s wrong with Telstra? – Gee, I could start a blog on this website!
What’s wrong with Telstra? Well, where can I begin? Is it some of the crappy equipment they have? Is it the “zero” level of customer service? No! That’s not right. Some of Telstra’s customer service is genuinely handled by real, caring people, but the backup, these people deserve, just isn’t there!
Telstra employees are people, too! Some customers need to remember that.
I have been a Telstra customer for quite some time now, having dealt with Optus, TPG, iiNet, and a few other services (OneTel! Who could forget OneTel? Nope, never been with AAPT …) Anyhow, this is only a missive to say that yesterday, (at 8.26 pm) I was rung up by Telstra to help me fix my iPhone problem – it won’t connect to anything by Bluetooth – and I explained to the Telstra techie, that I was actually eating my dinner, and it was 8.26 pm, and could he possibly ring back tomorrow (today) at 10 am.
Sure, he says, no problem.
Well it was obviously no problem, to him because he hasn’t rung back! AGAIN! This is the second time that Telstra’ PROMISED to ring back, and now they haven’t.
Remember! Telstra employees are people, too! Maybe he is crook. Maybe he died. Maybe, where he is, (Pakistan, India, Malaysia, wherever…) it isn’t 10am yet!
I seem to forget that Telstra has out-sourced most of it’s services to other countries, and of course they don’t operate on the same time zones that we do. This is evident by the number of Telstra people say “Good Morning”, when in fact it is the middle of the afternoon.
Rapport? I have great rapport with Telstra. I complain – they don’t listen – they don’t fix things. Isn’t that how rapport works?
Crappy equipment? Who, Telstra – nah! mate! It’s the user’s fault. You’re just using it incorrectly.
Before my current Thomson Gateway, I had a Thomson Gateway that died during the last Telstra outage. Before that I had a 2Wire Gateway, that worked a treat, but it was pretty slow. It worked with several things, wirelessly, including my MacBook, and my LinkSys Wireless Print Server. Setup was breeze, everything was AOK.
Under the Thomson Gateway, for the life of me I can’t get the LinkSys wireless print server to work. I have already spent 5 hours, this morning trying to match the settings on the Thomson with the settings on the LinkSys. ZILCH!
It’s obviously my fault, and the fact that I’m using it incorrectly. So why should I feel like complaining to Telstra that the Thomson doesn’t live up to it’s name as a simple device to set-up?
That’s enough for now – I’m getting tired …
Hi Robert, I appreciate that this experience must have been frustrating for you. We can always improve on our rapport building and customer service skills. Telstra Exchange will ensure that the feedback from you and others goes to people in Telstra who can learn from these experiences.
Thanks for an impressive reply.
It’s a shame that just five minutes ago, (whilst answering a call of nature preventing me to get to my handset) “Pamela” called, from Bigpond Broadband Technical Help, and left a message saying that her name was Pamela (Indian accent?) and that I should ring 13 …. [couldn't understand the rest of it], quoting reference number 1.. [ditto], and then she hung up – no repeat of the number, no repeat of the reference, I made it to the phone just after she hung up.
No kindness in the voice – almost robotic, matter-of-fact, no soul, and whats more – no rapport!
C’mon Telstra, if you’re going to employ people, then employ “people”. There are enough auotmatons in the world. We really don’t need anymore.
Furthermore, why is it always the customers that have to ring back to Bigpond Broadband Technical Help?
Why can’t Bigpond/Telstra send us an email? They could provide us with the phone number in writing, and the reference number, and even an on-line chat facility …
Why can’t they phone us when we’re home, rather than out shopping, or at work, or wherever?
Me personally, I’m medically retired, and sit at home most days, dependent on a computer system to access the outside world, a bit, and when it goes belly up, for whatever reason, it would be nice that I could expect my provider to solve the problem, rather than having red [and dead] lights on my ADSL modem.
We need to establish better rapport between the minions, and the millions …
Why do I bother?
I am getting sick and tired of dealing with issues with Telstra, that are still NOT RESOLVED for over two or three weeks!
Rapport has finished. Now it’s complaints to the TIO!!!
I try to understand Telstra’s position as a huge organisation employing many thousands of people, but enough is enough!
I pay my bills, on time (generally) and I expect Telstra to maintain a full-time connection for what I pay for.
If Telstra is not interested in supply what they adverstise, then they are breaching the Trade Practices Act, and I’m sure that the ACCC isn’t really interested in such minor inconveniences as lowly as most Telstra customer, but by God, something is starting to bubble and when it blows, I sure hope Telstra has a decent enough umbrella to cover itself.
If the management of Telstra wants to stay as the management of Telstra, they better start listening, and they better start doing something about the problems.
They could, for starters, get rid of the ridiculous overseas call centres and bring Telstra back to Australia, so that they are manned by Australians, and manned by people who know what is going on.
Two days – is all you get to finish doing something about my outstanding issues, after that, I’ll start raising hell, in the media, Fair Trading, and the TIO.
You’ve had enough time to fix things.
Two days …
Hi Robert. Sorry to hear you’ve had such a terrible experience with us in the past couple of weeks. I’ve organised for Adam to assist you with this matter. He will give you a call asap. Brendan.
Thanks.
Adam has rung back, and after a lengthy discussion on Telstra services, I have acknowledged that I withdraw my comments in regard to contacting the ACCC and Fair Trading.
Don’t you love the power of the blog to generate some momenteum and results.
I think this post has pretty much backfired. Hard to generate any rapport when people are being treated like Robert!
When will Telstra ever get its act together????
I don’t think the post has backfired at all. We, the customers, need to be aware that the exchange of information by online communication, still needs a certain level of rapport.
As I said previously, rapport still needs that essential exchange.
We are exchanging views online. This is a means of communication.
When the communication is reflected between the parties, and results in a win-win situation for both, or all of the parties, then rapport has occurred.
I would just like to say “Thank You” to Brendan, and Adam, who have fixed my problem with my broadband issue.
I apologise for being pushy in regards to the references to the ACCC, and the TIO, but unfortunately the issue had been going on for some weeks and I was getting rather annoyed at trying to download large files only to have them stall, due to a cut in the broadband service.
I hope that you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Telstra it is time to walk the walk and not just talk the talk. I have spent over 6 hours on the phone to Telstra in the last 2 weeks on a series of business issues. Invariably I would end up in an overseas call centre where to quote from the above passage
“have you ever been in a meeting where the other person was engaged in their own inner dialog and not paying attention to you. Did you notice that the conversation became choppy and perhaps you even had an uncomfortable feeling? These are indicators of lost rapport.”
Each conversation that started in an overseas call centre was not resolved until the call was either transferred back to Australia or the call was ended without resolution. Each time at the end of these calls I gave feedback on the survery except the overseas call centres have mastered the art of avoiding bad feedback by keeping the line open so I never went through to a survey when their calls ended.
The overseas call centres made the issues I was experiencing extended beyond need as indicated by the complaints officer I eventually dealt with, they also frustrated a fairly open minded reasonable individual and made me seriously ask the question of why my mutliple businesses are paying a premium price for such an inferior service?
These centres are an expensive rapport destroying ineffective department of Telstra!
By stark contrast the Telstra business 1800 number I use have been more than helpful. Have resolved issues or escalated me to the correct department. Have built rapport on these often lengthy phone calls.
However, as usual the good is just not out weighing the lost time and frustration.
Rapport Building Blogs telling others how to do it? I am cringing – how about walking the walk Telstra
I am sorry to hear that you have had such a disappointing experience.
I am a volunteer for the Telstra Exchange website and write these articles as I have a passion for writing and helping people succeed.
While I do not work for Telstra Customer Service, I will ensure your comments go to the appropriate Telstra team members so they can learn from your experience.