When man first stepped foot on the moon I retreated from the complexities of technology with the mantra of my late father still ringing in my ears. “Remember son, as the world steps forward in pursuit of technological change we are resolved to taking two steps backwards.” His prophetic words became my cocoon, a protective shield against the march of the computer revolution, mobile phones and digital innovations.

My business survived on the security of archaic book-keeping despite a depleting work area consumed by mounting files of ceaseless cross referencing. The inevitable consequence of many years of ‘burning the midnight oil’ to maintain these records undoubtedly led to my premature retirement due to health issues.

Meanwhile my three sons who had not adopted my inherited mantra, embraced technology as our worlds became increasingly aloof. I could not communicate on the same plane and a feeling of isolation towards those I most cherished led me to take a stand and bury my ill conceived principles towards change.

The medium of communicating by sms on a mobile had been too daunting for me to attempt. The perennial excuse had been: “it’s a too clinical and impersonal means of making contact. I would rather speak down the end of a phone than tap digits on a bloody machine!” Unfortunately my sons were in industries that required regular travel and our relationship was slipping into exile.

With the help of my stepdaughter I faced my demons and together with her patience and perseverance I mastered the power of ‘sms’ing. Admittedly my initial attempts were more like epics until I conquered the art of abbreviation.

Undoubtedly my ‘Everest’ was the dreaded computer. I managed to track down a computer course at the local library that provided an introduction to ‘the mouse’. With much relief I noted my fellow ‘Mouse-keteers’ were of the same grey haired ilk and had little or no knowledge of computer skills. In next to no time I had that little rodent at my mercy and despite his attempts to jump off the screen I had control over the little bastard.

Before long I advanced to ‘an introduction to the net’ and like Columbus a new world opened up to me. It has been an incredible journey. I now have my own email address and have logged onto facebook. I now have regular contact with my three sons and for every step forward I leap several steps ahead.

With a rejuvenated ‘reach for the stars’ mindset, I knew my goals could only be achieved by regular practise. Alas I was inflicted with the Malcolm Fraser curse “life wasn’t meant to be easy”. My only access to a computer beyond the library was my stepdaughter’s laptop. State of the art but emblazoned with Japanese symbols courtesy of her teaching period in Nagoya, Japan.

I was constantly tripping over Japanese Symbols with my only knowledge of this complex dialogue being ninja and samurai. With the help of my interpreter and computer guru Kelly, I’ve managed to crawl towards my objectives.

Tell me: now that I’ve tackled the internet, what is my next course to sail on my voyage of discovery?