A love letter to my iPhone
Thank you for being my iPhone. You know I love you. I love the way you respond to my touch. Your colour, life and movement—I love everything about you. Well, actually there is one teeny thing we need to talk about. It’s not you – it’s me.
This is difficult for me Perry as I didn’t think my love for you had boundaries. Here it is: I can’t stand reading books on you. I thought I could – I tried, I really did. I got the app, bought the book and sat back for a lovely read with a cup of tea and a slice of something delicious. It was a recipe you gave me Perry. The slice was delicious but you left me unsatisfied.
Where was the sound of the page turning? It always makes me smile when people press the button on a digital camera and it makes the sound of an old fashioned lens clicking. I missed the sound of the page turning on your book.
Whilst I love your sleek façade Perry, I missed the feel of paper. The frisson of a potential paper cut, the thrill of spotting a typo and knowing that millions of copies have been printed and the annoying dust jacket that seems to fall off every minute. I missed it Perry. I missed it all.
They say there are two types of people in the world: bookmark users or page folders. I’m ashamed to admit that I’m a habitual page folder. Never lend me a book unless you’re prepared for it to come back looking like an origami class reject. Well Perry, I missed the fold.
Now, the hardest part. Despite my missing the sounds, feel and fold of paper books I am actually thinking of cheating on you, Perry. We both know that reading is my passion and I know this sounds hypercritical and crazy but I’m tempted to light my electronic reading fire with a Kindle. Maybe one day I’ll be able to read for hours with a solar-powered book. Or perhaps my favourite newspapers and magazines will come to me via my new toy. I could be lulled to sleep by a Stephen Hawking-esque voice reading to me from my favourite tome, or my friends could find new places or uses for it. To be honest the point isn’t really about time or money-saving, voices, screens, designs, coolness or battery life.
I think I know why the Kindle might be in and you are out – it’s because I associate you with calling, texting and emailing. Maybe my private reading world is something I don’t want a call, SMS or email to intrude on. Sorry Perry but there are limits.
Don’t worry. It’s not over completely. I’ll still talk to you every day and we’ll stay in touch. It’s just that I will never, ever, ever read a book on you again. Don’t cry. You may fizzle something.